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Point of View Gun
With its logic circuits fully committed to calculating the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, the computer Deep Thought had a lot of spare time on its hands.
Much of this time was spent watching endless re-runs of cartoons and sitcoms on pan-dimensional TV, but not all of it. Sometimes Deep Thought would accept commissions to undertake minor calculations. Minor, at least, for the second greatest computer in the history of the universe.
One such commission was the Point of View Gun.
The Point of View gun conveniently does precisely what its name suggests. That is if you point it at someone and pull the trigger, they instantly see things from your point of view. It was designed by Deep Thought, but commissioned by a Consortium of Intergalactic Angry Housewives, who after countless arguments with their husbands were sick to the teeth of ending those arguments with the phrase "You just don't get it, do you?"
Seven prototypes were designed and built by Deep Thought, and of these six were delivered to his clients with a warning: It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training.
Given the nature of his commission, and given that they were only interested in men seeing things from their point of view, and not the other way around, the angry housewives’ consortium had a safety feature added to ensure that the gun could not be used on women. The idea of a man getting his hands on a gun and using to persuade the female population to put their feet up and forget the housework was far too chilling a prospect for them to consider.
While the fate of the six original guns has passed into obscurity, the fate of the seventh gun, still in the possession of Deep Thought, passed into legend.
It was just such a legend that came to the attention of Humma Kavula, the Space-Pirate-cum-Missionary that opposed both Yooden Vranx and Zaphod Beeblebrox for the Presidency of the Imperial Galactic Government.
Failing to obtain the gun in time to defeat his Presidential opponents, Kavula was forced to run defamatory campaigns (“Don’t Vote for Ugly”, and “Don’t Vote for Stupid”) which, despite doing well in the polls, led to his defeat on both occasions.
Turning instead to religion, Kavula became a Prophet of the Great Green Arkleseizure, deciding that if he couldn’t acquire power by political means, he would do so through religion. Crossing paths with his former political rival Zaphod Beeblebrox, Kavula was finally able to negotiate his way into acquiring the gun in exchange for the President’s brain.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is copyright (P) & ©1978, 1985 Douglas Adams.
This entry is ©2007 Adrian Middleton.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is copyright (P) & ©1978, 1985 Douglas Adams.
This entry is ©2007 Adrian Middleton.
Metabaron |
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, Jul 10 2008, 6:14 PM EDT
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